Paul Davis: Barron is what’s wrong with government

Paul Davis
Columnist
Published: August 18, 2008

One of the most fascinating things is the way the English language and our spelling and use of words continue to evolve. Computers have brought us a geek language and teenagers have brought us a freak language.

I live in more of a political world and here, too, there has been a distinct shift in the spelling and use of works. For instance, sleazy is now spelled lowellbarron, one word, no hyphen. I googled up my thesaurus for the word sleazy and here’s what I found:

SLEA’ZY (adjective)

1. Sordid, dirty, disreputable, sordid in character or appearance
2. Immoral or dishonest
3. Lowell Barron

I can’t quarrel with any of those definitions or spellings, but I do question the order of their listing. Alabama’s sorriest lawmaker should be at the top in both places. Sen. Barron is the epitome of everything that’s wrong with local, state and national politics.

Most recently he was arrested doing 100 mph on a lonely stretch of road in south Alabama because, he says, there was a Harley-riding Hell’s Angel on his rear bumper. Heck, he should have just pulled over and howdied up with the fellow. You know, birds of a feather. He surely didn’t believe he could outrun that Harley. Angels don’t run around with the Barron from the fiefdom of Fyffe, but angels from Hell surely do.

Can you image standing in front of a judge and pleading your innocence on the grounds that you feared for your safety and were trying too outrun a member of the Hell’s Angels motorcycle club. I’ll bet the senator from Fyffe was the first one in his elementary school to claim that his dog ate his homework.

Barron rules most of the state and maintains control of the Alabama State Senate. He is elected by his fellow senators. That doesn’t say much for that lot, either. He squeezed into the slot of Senate president by one or two votes the last time around.

He served for years as a trustee of Auburn University, bringing great shame to the state’s largest university and participating in various activities that brought the university probation and almost cost the university its accreditation. During the meantime, he also did business with Auburn, making profits off his alma mater.

He is an Auburn graduate in pharmacy, but has made his big money building banks for fellow board member Bobby Lowder, building houses and charging usurious rates in the check cashing business.

We love to talk about these sleazeballs. Oddly enough, we also love to elect them. That’s the fun part of democracy. We loudly condemn our political leaders, but we can’t wait to go the polls and usher them in for another term.

The only time I feel real pain is when I hear a political leader say, “I feel your pain.” That’s the biggest lie out there. The line of the day from elected officials is their lament over $4 a gallon gasoline. Those flying to and from Washington aren’t paying a dime. Taxpayers pick up the tab. And they get the best medical care in the world, and they’ve opted out of Social Security because, as everyone knows, you can’t live off that.

When Sen. Barron gets stopped for speeding, he simply pulls out his legislative identity card, gets no ticket, and zooms on toward Montgomery. If that’s not enough, he even gets the law changed to keep cops in small towns from writing tickets on the interstate.

I think he should just get a blue light and join NASCAR at Talladega.

Paul Davis writes a Sunday column for the Opelika-Auburn News. Contact him at