Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. Or at least it was where you were. It’s only February 11 here, in Oliver’s nursery, where I’m writing this week’s column and trying to entertain a 10-month-old at the same time. For this week’s column, I actually got a request. I don’t take requests by the way, but I got one anyway. The request was from our friend Shay. I’ve written about Shay before, or more specifically her daughter Reid, a toddler I’m afraid to say anything bad about because I’m quite certain one day she will be dictator of these United States. Anyway, this week Shay texted me and said, “I think you should give out Valentine’s Day ideas for next week’s column, if for no other person than Marc.”
Of course I’d like to help, but I’ve got two problems. One is my column runs on Sunday, which is Valentine’s Day, and that’s pushing it kind of late for suggestions. The other, and perhaps more glaring problem, is that I don’t have any Valentine’s Day ideas. I’m terrible at Valentine’s Day. Even when I try really hard and get creative, I’m terrible at it. One time Tricia and I had a candle-lit dinner in Parker Hall. Yes, the same Parker Hall that was modeled after the torture rooms in the Tower of London. And yes, I lit candles in a building that houses chemistry labs with enough explosives that could have blown the entire campus into Chambers County (Or at least I think Parker Hall has chemistry labs. I was a Liberal Arts major and tried to stay as far away from that building as I could.) All this to say I’m probably not the guy to be asking for Valentine’s Day ideas, but since Shay did ask, here are a few.
1. A candlelit dinner in the Haley Center – By my third junior year, I’d had a class in almost every classroom in the Haley Center, and I can say with some certainty there are no explosives that could turn your candlelit dinner into a massive fireball. Just make sure your date knows the quadrant and floor number of the room you plan to meet, otherwise the two of you will spend Valentine’s Day wandering a maze of indistinguishable hallways, looking for love, but never finding it.
2. A candlelit dinner in Foy Union – If you don’t want to run the risk of getting lost in the Haley Center, perhaps you could…
Oh forget it. Do you see what I mean? I have absolutely no good ideas for Valentine’s Day. It’s just not my holiday I suppose. Birthdays I’m okay with, and Christmas is easy. I’m even gotten pretty good at Mother’s Day, but Cupid’s arrow must have struck me in the part of the brain that comes up with romantic ideas on February 14. So Marc, if you’re reading this column, and depending on it for idea, it’s too late. Your Valentine’s Day is going to be a bust. Might as well go ahead and order your apology roses for tomorrow. I’ve already ordered mine.
Chad Gibbs resides in Auburn and is the author of “God & Football,” “Love Thy Rival” and “Jesus Without Borders.” To learn more about Gibbs’ projects and to purchase his books, visit chadgibbs.com.